I REALLY want to talk to him. But I don't want to be the first one to start up the conversation. Why is this so hard? Sometimes I feel like he's been wanting to do this to get me out of his life.

The other thing...

Another thing that adds onto my depression is my family. Being at home is one of the most depressing things I've ever experienced, which is why I hate home. At home, all I think about it how hard my parents work and how we have no money. How my dad is the dumbest shitface in the world and we're in our predicament because of him. How my mom complains to me about how she is tired all because of my dad. How even though I wasn't as close to my parents beforehand, I wish I was still in that situation. Where I didn't feel like my parents are going down a hole of no return. I fucking hate my life. Sometimes I just want to cry but I have no one to turn to.