Hmm..

Yesterday something interesting happened. Something I thought would never happen. I can't believe it, but that girl is the luckiest girl in the whole fucking world. But hey, I put up my white flag. So why the fuck would I care? I have no fucking clue. It's crazy. But I'm glad he's maturing.

White Flag.

I put up my white flag a long time ago. It's an amazing feeling to be honest. :)

I am so fucking stupid. I swear.

Feels goood

It feels good to look at someone and say "I don't give a fuck."

...maybe it's just not meant to be.

High school is ending. One part of me is saying "yessss!!!", but the other part of me is sad. Maybe it's because I'm going to leave the majority of my friends, or maybe it's because of him. Math class was fun with him, always bugging him, playing little stupid games with him. I don't regret our time together, I just wished that it lasted a little bit more. Come summer we shall depart, then school will start and he'll meet new girls, new crushes, new life. It makes me sad, although I can't tell him my true feelings I wish that I had made some impact on his life for him to remember me a little bit longer, even though that is most likely not true. I wish I could tell him I have feelings for him but society is so hard right now that I'm a little scared, a little scared in being rejected, a little scared in what our relationship will turn out to be. I know he doesn't like me in that way, i guess maybe it's just not meant to be.

What The Fuck

is exactly what I was thinking when I found out that one of my really good friends would rather confide in this girl that she has known for a shorter period of time rather than me! It was just such a huge ego blow for me, can I not be trusted? Am I truly such a bad friend? I just don't fucking understand. Well you know what, fuck you too bitch, I hope you have a fucking good life.

Today was a Great Day!

Soooo tooodayyy. :) I got to see HIM today. :D ^^ That totally made the rest of my day and I felt so jumpy jumpyyyy. And then I had PRO and me and my mentee played one on one Basketball which was really fun, I realized that she didn't like playing with other kids and me. heh.. and then after school when I came home I found out I got accepted into UC Irvine! :D Excitedd, my back up school is secured! Woohoo! So overall it was a good day. :D Too bad I don't get to see him tomorrow. :( Boooo.